Working away
by Jim Shelton, Register Staff 07/16/2006

It’s one thing to take your work home with you. It’s another thing to take it to the middle of the Caribbean, hundreds of miles from the nearest client or co-worker.

Yet that’s been Jason Vincent’s vacation pattern. His work follows him to hot tubs, ski resorts and beaches around the world, like a heat-seeking missile of mental preoccupation.

"Relaxing turns out to be a job," laughs Vincent, 37, who runs a security firm in New Haven. "I get stressed just thinking about a vacation."

Although it may be hard for some people to believe, there are indeed a number of folks who can’t enjoy themselves on vacation. They’re the types who call the office for messages while everyone else is watching the sunset; they sit in their beach chairs and ruminate over the status of the company’s big project.

"This is something I’m hearing more of," notes Carole Jacoby, a business and life coach in West Haven. "People are trying to unplug from work, but they keep sending e-mails and answering messages. It’s a huge challenge."

"It’s this idea that you’re dropping the ball if you don’t take work with you," says New Haven therapist Mark Gaynor. "So many people are doing more than one job at a company, there aren’t enough other employees to cover for them."

In Vincent’s case, he’s learned over the years that the only way to effectively disengage from his work is to take two-week vacations. He spends the entire first week gradually unwinding from his normal schedule. During the second week, he "kind of" relaxes, he says.

It’s been a major breakthrough.

"Almost everyone I know says they have a hard time with this," Vincent offers. "I think it’s really common, especially for anyone in a management position."

He cites a telling example from eight years ago: "My father lives in the Bahamas in the winter, and I went there for eight days, to this remote area. I’m on the deck of his boat, sunning myself — no one for miles in any direction — and I was on edge the whole time. It was ridiculous. I was absurdly stressed because I didn’t have cell phone service. I was insane."

Since then, he’s instituted the two-week rule and he intentionally goes to places where he has no cell service. But he still struggles.

"I went to a horse show in Lake Placid with my girlfriend," he says, "and I’m sitting there thinking about four of my clients who I know are ready to jump off a roof. I should’ve just stayed home."

Part of the problem, life coach Jacoby says, has to do with the availability of technology that keeps workers connected to their jobs from long distances, from cell phones and BlackBerrys to laptops and wireless Internet service.

But there are more subtle forces at work, as well. "A lot of it has to do with the work culture of certain organizations," Jacoby says. "Employees get the message that everybody checks in with the office all the time.

"It also may have to do with the individual," she adds. "It may serve the individual to stay connected, or they may have a self-imposed expectation that it’s the only way to stay on top. For some people, there’s even a drama and addiction to the events that go on within a work project."

Robyn Cosenza, marketing director for UHY LLP in New Haven, says she’s developed a close relationship with her BlackBerry that only grows deeper when she’s on vacation.

"The firm gave us all BlackBerrys, so you’re connected 24-7," Cosenza says. "It makes me feel much better if I keep checking in. I feel like I have withdrawal without it."

From her point of view, any quick e-mailing she can do during a vacation means a little less work waiting for her when she returns from vacation. It also gives her more peace of mind while she’s away from the office. However, she does leave her phone behind, for the most part.

"I was in Napa three weeks ago and I had my BlackBerry on the entire time," she says. "One of the partners asked me, ‘But aren’t you on vacation?’"

Cosenza says her friends tend to disagree with her philosophy of mixing vacation and work — and she knows they’re right. Yet she also knows she’s not the only person on holiday combining work and play. "I watch people and I see them e-mailing," she says. "I know they’re on vacation, too."

Certain occupations, including law enforcement, emergency medicine and social work, also may foster a heightened level of concentration and stress, making it tougher to switch into a lower gear on vacation, according to therapist Gaynor. He says people who are successful in those fields either learn how to relax on vacation or face professional burn-out.

"If we think about sleep as physical recovery, then we should think about vacation as recovery," Gaynor says. "We deteriorate without recovery."

For those people trying to find a better balance, life coach Jacoby offers a couple of suggestions.

First, people can set firm boundaries in advance. "If you can’t go cold turkey from work, be proactive," Jacoby says. "You can tell co-workers that you will be checking in every other day for messages. You can arrange for a back-up person to handle situations while you’re gone."

She says it’s important for people to understand exactly what they need from a vacation. Do they need to recharge their creative energies? Do they need to physically reduce stress?

In some instances, Jacoby says people should "shift their belief system. Understand you deserve this vacation, and your opportunities for success will still be there next week."

Jim Shelton can be reached at (203) 789-5664 or jshelton@nhregister.com.

©New Haven Register 2006